Monday, 18 January 2010
Before reading this..go back to ur bedroom mirror and check if it's inverted up side down or right side up!
That's the trick!
The note that u're all waiting for won't have an effect if u didn't bother urself to check ur bedroom mirror.
Allow me to tell u what u just saw while checking or pretending to check in order to go on with the note and get to the point :)
You saw You...Yourself
The Lacanian Mirror theory (according to Lacan..google him for ur own info lol) says that u have just seen ur perfect image
exactly...that's why when u face the mirror, u keep moving and chasing urself
fixing ur hair
checking ur body..lost weight...gained weight
gel or no gel
We spend hours in front of the mirror just to reach the perfection mode...! We reach the moment when we find ourselves singing Queen, "I am immortal, I have inside me blood of kings...I have no rivals, no man can be my equal".
Just as the rhythm fades away...one more look and u scream out:
I LOOK LIKE CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!
colours r not fitting
head scarf is not done right
my jeans is not tight enough
beard needs shaving
yeah it's a boy/girl thing...it's human nature
Hesitation comes from within...not from ur image in the mirror. Ever thought of reading or watching the Hunchback of Notre Dame!
It's very allegorical...we all have the beautiful gypsy Esmeralda or the handsome Pheobus in our mirrors, but we all hide our Quasimodo, the ugly featured hunchback, deep within!
Loved by all the wrong people...because they all look at ur pretty outside, neglecting the shit u're concentrating on inside. U wish upon a star but when u reach out to grab it...U step back...u dare not touch it, u're a 100 pure Hunchbacked Quasimodo, free from all fake self-confidence juckies!
U feel ur inferiority!
This inferiority that lingers around all the dusty surfaces of ur psyche!..U cave in, because u're scared to risk...u tie ur hair...FEAR!
Rejecting ur fearful situation...u start building walls...creating a case out of urself...out lifting the tragic hero that sleeps in the moors of ur rusty soul!
start destroying urself
complicating ur sub-conscious with those hideous traumas of "I'm always stuck in shit"
The pleasure of self-destruction
It's a talent by the way..like when u drag urself to hell till u vomit..u vomit simply to tell all about it..U want to believe it's serious...it's worth it..u're hitting the bottom...U R A CASE
To scream out in ur friends and parents' faces, "U'll never feel what I feel..u don't know what it means to lose control"
Yeah..I AM THE QUEEN/KING OF MENTAL DISFUNCTION
Get a grip...drink some coffee...we're all lonely and frustrated
All I need to tell u ladies and gentlemen is that I believe myself to be both the Beauty and the Beast...yeah...it's a package, two in one...By the way, it's a package for life..so take it or TAKE IT
That was simply a 180 degree angle...now start re-inverting the mirror
gel or no gel
checking ur body..lost weight...gained weight
Fixing ur hair
Welcome home..that's 360 degree angle...now go back to ur bedroom, invert ur mirror, drink some coffee, eat some sushi and forget it all ;)
Saturday, 2 January 2010
(Capitals refer Either to God or Conversations with God)
Some years I couldn’t sleep and when I slept I faced them everywhere...nightmares haunting my hesitant mind!!
I loved this period...I had some active conscience!
But since I may die tomorrow...I would love to confess today!!
Now I sleep...and I dream...can’t remember what I dream...even my subconscious stopped caring... I repress and then I suppress and then I spit them out at night...and then I wake up washing my face with my Sea Weed Body Shop facial wash! Smells so clean and fresh! I hide it all...COZ GOD IS LOVE
I eat...I drink...I pee...i flush!can’t remember how many times I wanted to thank him for feeding me but I forgot coz I was so hungry..Or maybe I was in a hurry...or maybe it became a habbit...BUT I STILL BELIEVE THAT GOD IS LOVE
I walk...i work...i gossip...i laugh with them... then I laugh at them...then I go home and repress the guilt and disgust..I order pizza hut...i watch a movie and celebrate my social hypocrisy! AND STILL I BELIEVE THAT GOD IS LOVE
I was a teen...now am an adult...am single...with no love life...frustrations surround me in every couple holding hands...in every meeting lips...In all entwining bodies…I close my eyes..I fantasize …then I go and pray…He must forgive me…SINCE HE IS LOVE
I envy her beauty…her long beautiful hair...i know am smarter...still I don’t care...He preferred her to me...or why wouldn’t I be her...or maybe better...or maybe the best…BUT still I accept me…and I would love to stay ME!!...I understand me and that’s what I want to be…and still I kiss her...i hug her...i wipe away her tears...she smells beautiful…I love her..But still I don’t care…enough HE created me…this means HE loves me...HE SAID HE IS LOVE
My parents...i love them...they love me...they care…they just don’t understand me...i face them…they dare me…I beg them…I am tired…I just can’t bridge the gap…I suffocate…I lie..I leave…they phone...i lie again…they twist their tone…I Swear HIS name…they believe me...or pretend to…not quite sure…they hang up…I exhale…U know U must forgive me…THAT’S WHY YOU ARE LOVE
I con them...i pray...i go up and then down...i stand up...i go to my room...i take off the veil...or shall I say the mask..I'm lonely...i was not talking to him...i did not pray...HE is watching...I pretend HE's not...and then I change the subject…till I go to bed…and wake up to wash my face with Sea Weed BodyShop Facial wash…HE doesn't deserve those cold signals coming out of my paralyzed mind…FOR HE IS LOVE
I open my sketch...i stick your pictures and then I paint red and blue...you don't know...you don't care...but I will still stick them and I will still paint...You are alone...ME TOO...I suffocate..AGAIN...I write...HE watches...I retreat to bed...I sleep...HE watches over me...BECAUSE AFTER ALL HE IS LOVE
I KNOW YOU ARE LOVE... I KNOW YOU CAN FORGIVE...I KNOW YOU ARE WAITING...BUT I AM SICK OF MY FAKE PROMISES... (and since I love YOU)…THIS TIME I CHOOSE TO STAY SILENT..TILL THE SIN, LUST, GREED, LIES, HYPOCRISY, ENVY, PRIDE, TEMPTATION & SHAME …just fade away!!!
Feel free to spit out any vice u're keeping..just understand that everyone has his/her own battle to fight!
© Moon 2009